Stopwatch in hand, bundesliga.com went track side to find out...
Bayer Leverkusen's Karim Bellarabi shares the honour for the Bundesliga's fastest goal with teammate Kevin Volland, but the Germany winger is out on his own in the sprint department. Recording an eye-watering speed of 21.92mph, Bellarabi was officially the quickest player in the German top flight in 2016/17.
Only just, mind. Hot on his heels were: Marcel Heller (Augsburg, 21.84mph), Nico Schulz (Hoffenheim, 21.81mph), Kevin Vogt (Hoffenheim, 21.80mph), Mathew Leckie (Hertha Berlin, 21.77mph) and Bayern Munich wide man Kingsley Coman (21.74mph).
Watch: The Bundesliga's most fleet-footed players
Leipzig's proverbial 10-tonne truck defender Dayot Upamecano came next on the list (21.65mph), with Mainz midfielder Levin Öztunali completing the top 10 (21.64mph), doing his legendary grandfather Uwe Seeler proud.
So what about Aubameyang? With a season-best sprint speed of 21.52mph, the Dortmund striker didn't even make it into the top 20. Just don't tell Bolt…
The Bundesliga's top 10 sprinters
1. Karim Bellarabi (Leverkusen) 21.92 mph
2. Marcel Heller (Augsburg) 21.84 mph
3. Nico Schulz (Hoffenheim) 21.81 mph
4. Kevin Vogt (Hoffenheim) 21.80 mph
5. Mathew Leckie (Hertha Berlin) 21.77 mph
6. Kingsley Coman (Bayern Munich) 21.74 mph
7. Timo Werner (Leipzig) 21.73 mph
8. Bernardo (Leipzig) 21.70 mph
9. Dayot Upamecano (Leipzig) 21.65 mph
10. Levin Öztunali (Mainz) 21.64 mph