Cologne - Off The Ball,'s quirky periodical, is on hand to bring you up to speed with the latest colourful off-pitch stories from around Germany.

This week's edition features two goalkeepers whose careers appear to be heading in very different directions, and a struggling Bundesliga club hoping an unfortunate typo in a magazine isn't a sign of things to come...

It might not sound like a lot of money in this day and age, but you've still got to be a pretty decent footballer to be valued at €3 million. If you were a coach, that amount would probably get you an ageing centre-back or a striker with a questionable scoring record. Oh, and Manuel Neuer's hands. Astonishingly, the FC Bayern München and Germany stopper has taken the precautionary measure of insuring his hands for €3 million, protecting the 28-year-old and his club if the World Cup winner were to suffer a career-threatening injury.

Former SV Werder Bremen and TSG 1899 Hoffenheim goalkeeper Tim Wiese, meanwhile, may have to take out an insurance policy on more than just his hands. The ex-Germany international has been hitting the gym on a regular basis since leaving the Sinsheim club at the end of last season - and has now been offered the chance to become a professional wrestler for the WWE. "Why should I say no?" said the 32-year-old, who now weighs 115kg. "Wrestling is very popular, especially in the United States. I will discuss the offer in the next few weeks with my agent. I'm not scared."

Hamburger SV haven't enjoyed the best of starts to the 2014/15 season, relieving coach Mirko Slomka of his duties after the Matchday 3 defeat to Hannover 96. It seems that Germany's leading football magazine kicker have given up all hope of the Bundesliga's only ever-present side remaining in the top flight, having left them out of the latest standings in this week's edition. It may have merely been an unfortunate error, but if Josef Zinnbauer's side don't improve, HSV's name might be missing from the Bundesliga table for quite a while.

If none of the above stories made you snigger, head over to our official YouTube channel to watch the most entertaining moments from last weekend: