Football is the source of many legendary one-liners, and the 2012/13 season was no exception.
...who said of the autobiography written by the DFB's former president Theo Zwanziger, "I had already known for ages that he wasn't a good president."
...who, after Matthäus (l.) fuelled speculation about an imminent purchase of Robert Lewandowski from Borussia Dortmund, was told via Sport1, "Lothar has been keeping himself very busy with women in recent months. It now looks like he's keeping himself busy with Bayern players. It looks like he is deviating"
Greuther Fürth were the first side to be promoted prior to the 2012/13 campaign - possibly due to a misunderstanding in pre-season. "I wanted Eto'o, but our chairman apparently understood Edu," said former coach Mike Büskens after signing up the veteran Brazilian frontman, rather than Cameroon's former Barcelona star
"You get a guarantee when you buy a washing machine," said Werder Bremen's former coach Thomas Schaaf (l.)
Having worked at Bremen both as a coach and player, Schaaf has seen many ups and downs. "Has there been a Werder game I haven't featured in?" questioned 52-year-old Schaaf when asked about his involvement in a 7-1 loss to Borussia Mönchengladbach in 1987 - the Green-Whites' heaviest home defeat so far
The press isn't always your friend: "I'm sick of it. There will be a time when they come to my house to search
"We all failed today - starting with the players right through to the coach driver": Schalke 04 sporting director
"What was I supposed to do with my pent-up aggression - slide-tackle my wife, shoulder-charge her into the cooker? Fortunately it never came to that." Jürgen Klopp followed another path when hanging up his boots, opting for a rather successful coaching career
"It could've been a hairy affair, but it wasn't due to my team keeping their focus": Klopp on a
"I've won the Bundesliga title a couple of times, both as a player and a coach, but it's never been as cold": Bayern coach
"There's so much unrest at the club. Our players are being presented as if they were at a cattle market," complained Freiburg head coach
"Not even a second" had Sascha Mölders thought about asking to be substituted in the Matchday 23 win over 1899 Hoffenheim: "I bruised my nose, not my feet"
After seeing the consequences of a head wound suffered against Fortuna Düsseldorf, Gladbach midfielder Thorben Marx got his priorities striaght: "I'm glad I'm already married"